I've had a hard couple of weeks. I've not been 100% well, and have also been busy putting together and organising a photography exhibition, doing some free photography for a few events, as well as trying to arrange my holiday (for which I leave on Tuesday!). The grand result of all of that is that I've been really busy, and a bit knackered. And as a result, I feel like I've been doing badly at all of the Deconsumerism stuff. I feel like I've not made any progress and lost some of the momentum and excitement I had. I'm tired and part of me just wants to take the easier route.
And to top it all off, I went to a supermarket.
Yes.
I was put in charge of buying some basic food and toiletry items for the road trip part of the holiday. It got to Saturday, the only time I could feasibly do the shopping, and I was knackered. Rather than traipse round loads of different shops, getting all the things I needed, I went to Coop and bought them all in one go. I was tired and I didn't have the energy to spend hours wandering around getting everything.
Do I regret it? I'm not really sure... I bought mostly things like loo roll and washing up sponges, which aren't the reason why I stopped going to supermarkets in the first place. But I do feel in some way like I've let myself down.
However, this is probably more a reflection of my overly perfectionistic nature than anything else. Someone said to me a while ago that I need to stop giving myself such a hard time about things. I'm not going to be able to do things 100% perfectly - life tends to get in the way. The point of this project was to find a balance where things were sustainable in the long term, not to take things to such an extreme that I can't manage to keep them up.
So I guess I'm still trying to find that balance. How far should I push myself to do and be better, and when should I just accept that I can't do everything...?
At least it was Co-op. They might be a chain supermarket but they have good ethical standards and source at least some of their stock locally. And sadly the rise of supermarkets has reduced the number of alternatives you can turn to when you need a pint of milk. Hope you feel better soon.
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